Sick

Blogger down! Blogger down! I have been hit by some sort of derranged, evil flu bug (not the stomach kind-- the kind that makes all of your muscles wish they could leap out of your body and take up permanent residence far, far away). I'm not stupid; I knew this was coming. You can't burn the candle at both ends with flames the size of Hubble Telescopes and expect that it won't take you down at some point. So here I am, hopped up on Advil, which I might add, my body is actually laughing at and wishing desperately that it would do something. On the plus side, my fingers don't hurt so I was able to sit up and write this blog. I will promptly be returning to my horizontal position, where I intend to be until the misery finally passes.

Sharp Contrast

The weekend after the marathon I went back to Ohio for the wedding of one of my dearest friends. This is the first time the three girls I ran around with in high school and I have all been together in years (yes, once again, pictures pending...). The bride opted for a smaller wedding with mostly close friends and family. The ceremony was held at the church that she grew up in, and the reception was held at the Columbus Museum of Art. It was beautiful, and I was so happy for her. It was incredibly nice to attend a wedding in which the bride and the groom seem so suited to one another. The four girls, or "blonde ambition" as I started calling us, had a wonderful time and a lot of laughs reminiscing about our high school and collegiate exploits. In Indy I only have one 'old' friend (two if you count Eric), the kind of friend who knows your story and you don't have to explain yourself to, so it was really nice to spend several days in my old comfort zone.

After the wedding, I spent the rest of the weekend with my dad and Eric. My little brother and step mother were up towards Cleveland at a hockey tournament. Spending some quality time with dad was the perfect way to end the weekend.

Unfortunately, the events of the weekend have been put in a sour contrast with my week thus far. So far, school work has been flowing like Vesuveus, I got a grade on one of my most recent assignments that made me question what on earth I'm doing in this program (something I ask myself at least once a week), and work is going absolutely utterly insane. I'm not an idiot-- I knew there were going to be weeks like this when I started my program, but if 'knowing is half the battle' I think actually going through it is the uglier half. Here's hoping for a weekend of productivity and recovery! Since the weekend is still 3 days away I think I may be stretching that one a bit.

Mission Accomplished

The marathon was obviously Sunday. Since you're reading this, I clearly lived to tell the tale; unfortunately, I couldn't report back about it right away because I had to get caught up on all the school work I shirked over marathon weekend (Guilt, is that you? Of course it is-- my constant companion, sigh.) So I'm here, alive and well. I can't begin to desribe the intense relief I presently feel. As my previous posts indicated, I was extremely nervous that this was not going to happen for me. First there was the stress fracture, then there was the fact that I had taken on so much this fall, and those combined items fell under the undeniable fact that anything can happen during a marathon.

Eric and I arrived at the Elsmo Four's home on Friday evening. As per usual, we went to set our stuff down when we got there. I went upstairs to ditch my bag and was greeted by balloons, streamers, and hand-crafted posters. It was amazing!! (I saved the posters; when I finally get a chance to incorporate pictures I will add them to the blog) Each poster held a slightly different significance, and I was extremely grateful for each one.

Saturday, Eric and I got up to run my last two miles before the marathon (why they have you run two miles the day before a marathon I'll never know...), and then we went down to McCormick Place for packet pickup. Talk about a running extravaganza-- running companies and paraphenalia everywhere! Eric got new running shoes, and I got a a commemorative jacket since I'm sure I'll wear out the shirt that came in our packet materials. It was very exciting; if I hadn't been facing the big 26.2 the next morning I probably would have really enjoyed it. Saturday night, Mel cooked the perfect pre-race dinner with whole wheat pasta, salmon, spinach, zuchini, and mushrooms. I went to bed early so that I wouldn't be tempted to sleep on one of the medical-tent gurneys mid-race.

Sunday, Eric got up at the crack of dawn to head downtown with me. I was SO nervous. Normally my competitive streak takes over in these kinds of situations, I get pumped up on adrenaline, and then I'm ready to go... but that never happened with the marathon. This time I knew what I was in for, and my competitive streak was completely drowned out by fear of the unknown. Eric asked me where I wanted him on the course. I said mile 23; I had a feeling that I would be flagging a bit at the end and if I got to see him at mile 23 then I would be close enough to make it to the end. The race began and the first 10 miles were fun. There were people everywhere cheering-- it was incredibly exciting. Unfortunately, the race didn't end at mile 10. As the sun climbed higher, the course kept going. It was HOT and kept getting hotter. At mile 16 I started wondering if I was going to make it, but pushed those thoughts out of my head, refocusing my attention to mile 20 which would put me within a 5K's distance of my cheering section. Mile 23 came and went-- somehow I missed Eric, and the Elsmo Four cheering like crazy. I wish I hadn't; I could've used a little love at that point in the course. Everything hurt, and the sun was wearing me down. Finally, I hit Michigan Ave. and then the bridge to Columbus, and then the finish line. Eric found me just after the finish, and I swear I've never been so happy to see someone in my whole life. We met back up with the Elsmo Four and my best friend Julie over by the Joffrey Ballet.

It's moments like that where words completely fail to express how grateful a person can be to have the love and support of their friends and family. This was not about running a marathon for me; it represented a lot more -- in many ways, it was the physical manifestation of a lot of the things I've I had to wrangle with. Having that group of loved ones at the end was the best way to end this particular journey, since really, they've traveled with me the whole time whether they knew it or not.

So here I am, recounting the tale. Oh, and just to reconfirm-- run really is a verb.

Bob-isms

It's funny, the things you think about as you head into something you know is just a bit bigger than you are. For me, whenever I sit on the precipice of something I know will leave me changed, I can't help but think back to the other moments in my life that are of a similar vein. These thoughts inevitably take me back to some of my favorite Bob-isms. Bob was my step father, but more than that, he was a profound force in my life. Unfortunately, he died when I was in high school. He was notorious for knowing exactly what to say when the situation called for it (others might argue he said the wrong thing, but I disagree. He said what needed to be said, not necessarily what people wanted to hear). A piece of me will always miss him terribly. As an adult now, I often wonder what he would say to me if he were alive. It's not hard to imagine; most of the time I can still hear his voice as if he were sitting next to me. It's actually become more clear as I've gotten older. So much of what he told me didn't have nearly as much application then as it does now.

One of my favorite Bob-isms was "Ann, (he always called me Ann) you know-- they can kill you, but they can't eat you." Macabre, but really, he meant it in the "life can knock you down, but ultimately, you're the one who decides who gets the last laugh" kind of way. Amongst all of his sayings, that is one of the ones I hear most regularly in my head, and no matter how challenging the situation I'm facing is, when I think of that it always brings a smile to my face. I wish he was going to be there this weekend, but I say that about a lot of things I've done since he died.

Some of my other favorite Bob-isms include:
"They were just pick'n fly shit out of pepper." (usually referencing meetings at work that were a waste of time)

"Ann, you have to bring your own self esteem to the table. No one is going to bring it for you."

"It ain't easy being green." Yes, technically he stole it from Kermit the Frog, but it was still effective.

"Find someone who shares your same values, people grow and change, but values stay the same."

"Team sports are ridiculous." I think it was his way of saying, don't lean on others for things you should do yourself... or maybe he just really hated team sports.

"Don't get married until you know who you are."

"One in four people isn't going to like you. Get over it."

"You can make some of the people happy all of the time, and all of the people happy some of the time, but you're never going to make all of the people happy all of the time."

"Always be intellectually curious."

There are many, many others that I hear as I go through my days, but when Sunday morning rolls around, you know I'll be thinking "they can kill you, but they can't eat you."

One Week To Go

The marathon is almost here. Exactly seven days from now I will hopefully find myself a little over half way through the course. Right now though, I find myself in the middle of the taper. While certainly enjoyable, it is a rather strange thing. I understand the biomechanics of why runners taper to the race, but it is completely counterintuitive... run like an utter dog for 13-14 weeks, decrease your workload down to a tiny fraction of what it was for 2-3 weeks, and then run further than you've run the entire duration of your training period-- completely bizarre. While a bit beyond logic, I'm not going to pretend that I now better than Runner's World, or the thousands of runners who successfully complete marathons using this formula. I will blindly trust that this is the recipe for success... well, relative success. I just want to finish-- God willing in a time that does not qualify me for 'slowest human being on earth'. Sure, Bolt may have been crowned the fastest man on earth this summer in Beijing, but can he compete with what this little gem of a title would be??

It's funny how everyone else on 'Team Schmelzer' (my loyal cheering section) seems to have more confidence about this foray into the unknown than I do. They all seem unnervingly confident that I will be able to do this. Fortunately, not everyone was there to see last weekend's 22-mile long run, which was quite ugly and not a real confidence booster heading into the final chapter of this deal. I would be a liar of the greatest proportions if I said I wasn't scared half-to-death right now. After all this time, effort, sleep deprivation, pain, etc. I just want to cross the finish line and end this in the best way possible. It's a marathon; there are no guarantees, but according to the program and Team Schmelzer, the countdown is on and apparently I'm ready (just don't ask my sweaty palms, dilated pupils, and elevated heart rate about my readiness).