Minnesota Nice

Thanksgiving is my mom's favorite holiday. It's the only holiday at which she truly requests my attendance; which, if you're the child of divorced parents with three re-marriages between the two of them, is a bit of a blessing. Several years ago, she moved to Minneapolis from Ohio for a new job opportunity. I gave her a hard time about it; for someone who doesn't like the cold very much she sure was moving the wrong direction.

Contrary to it's uber-winter status, Minnesota is actually a beautiful state. It gets way more sunshine than some of the other midwest states (for reasons I have yet to figure out), and is home to a derivation of people that my mom and I refer to as "Minnesota nice". There's nice, and then there's Minnesota nice. For example: Once, when I was flying to see my mother for Easter, I got on the plane and the woman sitting next to me was having a hard time getting her carry-on in the overhead storage compartment (in my mind that that makes it no longer a carry-on, but that's another story entirely). This woman literally handed me her purse to hold for her while she wrangled with the overstuffed "carry-on". I believe the assumption was that I was Minnesota nice, just like her. Fortunately, I'm not a clepto and I obviously returned the purse to her untouched, but me and my MLK address could not get over the fact that she just handed me her entire purse without a second thought. I suppose that's 'stupidity' not 'nice', but regardless, I have seen more examples of that sort of behavior in Minnesota than anywhere else.

So, this Thanksgiving was no different than the last several in terms of making the 11+ hour drive northward. I don't care how nice Minnesota is, there is no denying the length of that drive. The six hours through the Wisconsin hinterlands, as I call them, is truly the worst part of the whole ordeal. There. Is. Nothing. Dead deer, dairy cows, semi trucks, and random Cheese Haus' (yes, with the German spelling). If you want cheese or venison, you have come to the right place. For anything else, i.e. civilization-- it's best to keep on driving. Eventually, if you stay on I-94 long enough, you will reach the promised land of the Twin Cities. After 11 hours in the car it feels like the promised land regardless of the outside temperature.

It's always worth it. My mom insists on Thanksgiving because it's one of the few holidays without pretense. Come together, have a meal, find some respit before the holiday rush. Frankly there's nice, and then there's Minnesota nice.

Residency

Residency ended Friday at 11:30 sharp. Two down, three more to go (one of which is in Argentina) I survived-- actually in better shape than I had originally imagined possible. My group worked hard, struggled, accomplished, laughed, and had many memorable moments. If I have to walk through the insane journey that is grad school, I'm glad that I get to with these guys. They'll change the groups on us next summer, but for right now I am counting myself among the very, very lucky. Our big, final presentation is next Monday night. We've got a lot of work to do between here and there, but we'll get it done one way or another.

What a journey this is going to be.

Maxed Out

Utterly sleep deprived, HATE Quantitative Analysis, wondering why this seemed like such a good idea last year... at least I have a great group-- definitely the saving grace of the week. Have been doing academic work for 18 hours straight now; my brain is 100% maxed out and there's no end in site. Time to dig in, unfortunately coffee stopped helping days ago.

Purdue, Home Sweet Home

Residency officially starts tomorrow. Taking a deep breath, because here we go. I went for a run around my old stomping grounds today. Aside from the sleet, it felt good to be back. I'm sure the week is going to be utterly awful, but the run brought back a lot of good memories. Boiler Up!

Fear and Loathing in Indianapolis

Today is finally election day. As a state employee, one of the perqs is that we get election days off, so I'm actually at home today getting ready to work on materials for my next residency week that starts this Sunday (ouch). Because of having the day off today, last night I decided to go to my indoor game despite having a Quantitative Analysis assignment due. It was due by midnight and I already had most of it done. Of course, you know what they say about good intentions... I came home from the game and went straight away to finish the paper. The problem became that I sorely overestimated my formatting abilities, and underestimated my laptop's abilities. Needless to say, I submitted the assignment at 11:57 p.m. Far less than ideal, so of course, as mentioned in previous entries, my constant companion Guilt has made her presence known on a whole new level today. I tried to justify going to the indoor game with "Grad school is not going to take away everything I like to do-- I'm taking a stand!" And you know what? I lost. To be honest, I think the paper portion of the assignment is good, but Guilt would like me to know that Grad School waits for no one and I might as well get on board with the new realities such as they are. It's a difficult thing to accept (more difficult than I had originally anticipated). It's a mini grieving process of sorts as I say goodbye to prioritizing things the way I want to, and succumb to prioritizing things to the way I have to even more so than one already does as an adult. What is even more depressing is knowing that it's going to be like this for the next two years.

When I was a baby/toddler I never slept (much to my parent's dismay). I didn't take naps, I was hard to put to sleep, and I woke up at the slightest disturbance. My mother says it's because I never wanted to miss something. I guess you only change so much as an adult, because I'm borderline angry over how much I'm going to miss over the next few years. I will miss time with friends and family because of things like drafting up spreadsheets, and papers, reading things I don't understand a word of over and over again, conference calls, etc. all in the name of a piece of paper and a chance to go after the things I want to do "when I grow up". I keep posing the question of "is it worth it?" over and over in my mind. In the moments when Guilt is really raging, my immediate response is "NO, I wouldn't wish this stuff on my worst enemy", and yet, the coming-down-the-pike 30-something in me says "Annie, you have to stick this out." I just wish the 30-something spoke louder than Guilt.